Hold Me
by Queen Em
Summary: She wasn't strong enough to fight, she wasn't strong enough to survive, her eyes flickered, no, she must fight, must fight, must...." Smacked Onehot


_Hi there everyone how are we all?_

_This is my latest Smacked story, I am still working on 'Don't Sleep', temporary block though, so hopefully this might make up for it!_

_Please review, I've had two exams today so could do with cheering up! Thanks to Lily for looking over the first bit, dedicated to all Smacked lovers!_

_xxxxxx_

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**Hold Me Til' Morning**

_**Hold me til' morning,**_

_**Love me til' day,**_

_**Sleep next to me baby,**_

_**Don't go away.**_

Mac downed his espresso in one, having lost track after his 5th, he guessed this was round about the 7th . Being a scientist, not that anyone with an ounce of common sense couldn't work it out, he knew it was not a clever idea to drink your body weight in coffee, but after a shift that was coming up to 17 hours, the caffeine was more of a necessity than a choice. Ever the dedicated boss, Mac was working through the night to finish the report, Sinclair was breathing down his neck and with the press on their back, the sooner the case was sorted, the better. Danny had checked in on him a couple of times, his own shift having started a few hours previously, making sure he had a supply of coffee, knowing telling his boss to leave would not work so supplying him with his half-hourly caffeine buzz was his far more useful way of helping. Flack had been his usual to the point self and his remark of, " Now I know you're very protective of the city Mac, but you do realize if you step outside this building, it's not going to implode right?" had of course not persuaded Mac to leave, but had provided him with a bit of amusement, as well as another cup of coffee. Then there was Stella, wonderful Stella had been working with him from the beginning and she was more than happy to accompany him through the night but ever the gentlemen Mac had told her to get some rest and go home, he was nearly done. After much protest Mac had practically pushed her out the door but after she kissed him on the cheek and left, a long yawn escaping from her lips it was clear she was grateful to be escaping the lab. As his thoughts drifted to Stella he let out a yawn himself, as a self confessed workaholic insomniac, being tired was nothing new to him. His mobile phone rang, the high pitched monotonous beep caused his headache to pound even harder, with a scowl he answered as quickly as he could.

"Taylor."

An unfamiliar voice spoke to him and as he listened to the words being spoken, his face drained of all its colour. His eyes widened and he felt physically sick as his heart hammered against his rib cage.

"I'm on my way."

He grabbed his jacket, only doing do because it had his keys and wallet in the pocket, flung it over his shoulder and ran out of his office leaving all the case reports open and the computer on.

"Mac?" Flack called as Mac raced past him.

"Not now Don." Mac replied sharply as he carried on.

"Mac what's going on?" Don persisted.

"There's been a situation." Mac replied.

"Talk to me here Mac." Flack said as he followed Mac, urgency in his voice. "What's going on?"

Mac continued across the lab until he reached the lift, pressing the button impatiently.

"Mac!" Don cried half exasperated half worried, "What the hell is going on?"

"It's Stella." Mac replied quietly, "She's been attacked, I'm going to the hospital."

"Oh my God, is she ok? Who did it to her? Is he in custody, I swear Mac if someone's hurt her..."

"I don't know Don, all I know is she's in the hospital so I need to see her." Mac cut across, sharing Flack's concern but needing to leave quickly.

Do you want me to come?" Flack asked quietly, his moment of rage subsiding.

"No, stay here, Danny's in charge until I get back and Don, not a word to anyone else until we have the full details. I'll call you as soon as I know."

"Ok." Don nodded as Mac stepped into the lift, feeling his heart sink as quick as the lift that sped down 35 floors, an anxious Mac pacing in circles until the door opened and he got in his car and sped to the hospital.

Right now, as far as Mac Taylor was concerned, there was nothing else going on in New York City.

Panting slightly, Mac ran to the reception desk and spoke rapidly, trying to catch his breath in between sentences. "I'm Mac Taylor, I had a call about Stella Bonasera." A young nurse looked up at him and said, "Mr Taylor, you're Ms. Bonasera's next of kin correct."

"Yes, what happened to her?"

"I'm afraid Ms Bonaserra has been attacked."

"How seriously?"

"She will recover from her injuries, she has a cracked rib, cuts and bruises and she's got a sprained wrist that will take a few weeks to heal. She's in shock though, it was a nasty assault and she's highly distressed."

"Will it make it worse if I see her?" Mac asked concernedly.

"No, she's been asking for you. The first thing she said to us was to call you. A friendly face is just what she needs but remember, she's been through quite an ordeal, look after her."

Mac could only nod as he followed the nurse who was walking far too slowly to Stella's room. Of course he would look after her, what did she think he was going to do, jump on her bed and have her play blind man's bluff? He always looked after her, made sure she was ok, was there for her, she was his best friend the one person he cared about more than anything. So when the nurse opened the door and he saw Stella, he felt his heart break. She was curled up on top of the covers, hugging her knees closely. A large scrape fell down her left cheek and a huge bruise covered her right temple and her hair was matted with blood. Her body was shaking and her pale face was stained with tears.

"Mac." Her voice was a choked sob and before the nurse could say anything Mac darted to Stella and put his arms around her. She held onto him, her body racked with sobs as tears fell down her cheeks whilst she clung onto him as if her life depended on it.

"It's ok Stel, it's ok." He said soothingly as he stroked her hair, and gently cradled her back and forth as she let her tears soak his shirt.

"Stay with me." She whispered, not letting go of him.

"I'm not going anywhere Stel."

After a while Stella had pulled away and after a loud sniff said tearfully, "Why me Mac? I'm always so careful. After Frankie I barely talk to guys let alone go out with them. I wasn't looking for anything, I just wanted a drink, but he followed me and my piece was in my bag and I..." But before she could finish she broke off and collapsed into sobs again.

"It's ok, take you're time Stel, you don't have to tell me now." Mac said, gently wrapping his strong arms around her and bringing her close to him once more.

"No," She sniffed, "no I can do this."

As she sniffed again and furiously wiped her eyes a pretty nurse who looked to be in her late 20's came in.

"Hello Ms. Bonaserra. I'm Kelly, I'm going to be looking after you now Janine has finished her shift. I need to change your dressing I'm afraid." She said and cast a somewhat awkward glance at Mac who was on the other side of Stella, perched on the bed next her, his arm around her as she gripped onto his hand, absent mindedly playing with his fingers.

"Mr Taylor you might want to wait outside."

"No." Stella cried before Mac had gotten a word out, her eyes brimming with tears, "I don't want him to leave, please stay Mac." She looked at him with pleading eyes and Mac felt his heart shatter because he couldn't make her pain go away.

"I'm staying." Mac said casting a reassuring look at Stella and pulled up chair next to the bed, taking Stella's hand in his own as soon as he had sat down.

"If you could just lie back for me please." The nurse undid Stella's gown and slipped it down to her waist and Stella turned towards Mac who held onto her hand tightly, with watery eyes. He was momentarily fazed, unsure where to look. He had seen Stella in her bra before, in their line of work, not to mention communal pretty much everything, there wasn't much room to be body shy. Of course he had never looked at her, he would never do that but had on occasion seen her, especially as Stella had no problem in striking up a conversation whilst getting changed, a trait of hers that Mac had never quite gotten used to. Despite this, he was for a minute, unsure where to look, not wanting to upset Stella or make her feel uncomfortable.

"It's ok Mac." Stella said quietly, "I fell on some glass." The statement allowed Mac to cast his eyes to where the nurse was working. A large cut just below her bottom rib was being redressed and as the nurse worked Mac took in the injuries she had sustained. Her left side was an angry purple, most likely where her rib had been cracked and there were other smaller cuts just below her bra as well as a couple of bruises and nasty scrapes on her torso and neck.

"Stel." Mac whispered and kissed her hand, "I'm so sorry."

Kelly finished redressing Stella's wound and helped her put her gown back on and sat her up gently.

"Try and get some rest, you've been through an awful shock."

"Can Mac stay?" She asked quickly.

"He can stay as long as you want, having loved ones around you is extremely important. Let me know if you need anything, I'll be right outside." She smiled and left, leaving the two of them alone in the dreary room.

"I'm such a mess." Stella muttered and wiped her eyes once more.

"You're upset." Mac replied quietly.

"It's not fair Mac, it's not fair."

"I know."

"I didn't ask for any of this, I didn't bring this on myself."

"No one thinks you did Stel, I promise."

"He followed me," She sniffed loudly then turned her tone to that of a whisper, "the jerk followed me out."

_Stella sat at the noisy bar and sipped her drink. It had been a long day and her nice comfy bed was calling but as she walked along her street she found herself stopping outside a familiar bar. She'd been in many a time and the bartender was a friend of hers. Despite her tiredness she decided to go __in, besides on a regular Wednesday night she should be in and out in 15 minutes. All she wanted was a glass of wine. A nice full bodied red wine, something to help her unwind after the marathon shift she had just pulled. After talking to her friend and picking out a nice glass of red wine, she sat in a booth and sipped the last bit of her drink. As she did so, a man she had never seen before approached her._

"_Can I buy you drink?" He asked._

_Stella looked up and took him in, he was tall and well built with slicked back hair. Although he wasn't unattractive, there was an unpleasant look about him that Stella had seen far to often._

"_I'm fine thanks." Stella said and indicated at her glass._

"_But you've nearly finished that one."_

"_No really, I'm fine."_

"_Surely a pretty thing like you doesn't want to sit alone at night." _

_Stella felt a shiver run down her spine and said more forcefully than she perhaps intended, "I said I'm fine, thank you."_

_The man frowned and Stella felt herself tense, but before anything happened, he tuned away and left. Stella shook her head and knocked back the remaining few drops of her wine. After paying and bidding farewell to her bartender friend, she walked out of the bar, looking forward to flopping into bed at long last._

"_Can I get you a cab?" _

_The voice made Stella jump and spin around, the man who had previously hit on her was standing there, just a few feet from her._

"_No thanks, I'm ok."_

"_You walking home?" He walked towards her and Stella felt her heart beat quicken._

"_Waiting for a lift." Stella lied, hoping it would get him to leave._

"_I can give you a ride, it would be much quicker." He walked right up to Stella and looked her up and down, lingering when his gaze travelled over her chest causing Stella to feel sick._

"_You know I left my coat inside." She turned to go back into the restaurant, deciding it best to stay in view of others until this sleaze-ball left her alone._

"_I don't think so."_

_Without warning, he threw one arm around Stella's neck and one over her mouth, and although she lashed out and struggled, he pulled her down the side alley, unnoticed by anyone else, all of them still round the corner inside the bar._

"_Get off me!" Stella shrieked as she kicked and screamed with all her might trying to get him off her._

"_Don't make this difficult." He hissed and he slammed her into the wall. With a cry of rage Stella kicked him and he doubled over in pain. Seeing her chance she turned and ran back up the ally she had been pulled down. She heard heavy footsteps behind her and she quickened her pace, the dark alley seeming never ending_

"_No!" He had grabbed Stella's arm and pulled her back towards him. She flailed in his grasp throwing punches and kicks at any part of him she could reach._

"_I said don't make this difficult."_

_He raised his fist and with an almighty crash sent it into Stella's temple. With a cry, she fell back into the wall, her body scraping down the rough concrete as she slumped. He pushed her against the wall, his hands on her shoulders and his body pressed close to hers. Stella could feel the world spinning, she didn't know where she was, she couldn't move, someone was with her, someone was holding her there, who, why? She let out a moan of pain as she started to come to her sense, the blow to her head having temporarily fazed her._

"_See what your missing." he hissed as he started to roughly kiss Stella's neck and chest. Stella let out a stifled sob, why was this happening to her? She should be able to get out of this she could defend herself, Mac with all his marine training had taught her an thing or too and after 15 years in the service she could get herself out of most situations. So why was she still forced against the grubby alley wall whilst some crazed maniac groped her? Stella opened her mouth and was about to scream 'I'm a cop,' but quickly thought better of it causing a wave of panic to rush through her that her usual lifeline had failed her. Her piece and badge were in her bag which had fallen of her shoulder when she had been dragged down the alley. If this maniac got to the gun before she did or he decided assaulting an officer was not something he wanted on his record, Stella thought she might be the next homicide the team would investigate, a thought that sent shivers own her spine. She imagined Hawkes placing her corpse the body bag and Mac and Danny working the scene. Her handbag becoming another piece of evidence to be put in the plastic envelope and her blood being sent to trace where Adam would run it. She couldn't let that happen, she couldn't do that to them. That wouldn't be her, she was strong, she wasn't going to give up without a fight! With all her strength she attempted to get him off her with all her strength she brought her knee to his chest, his grip temporarily released and she made another dash for the street._

"_Bitch!"_

_Stella could see her handbag just a few feet away, if she could just get her piece she would be safe. He wasn't that near._

_The footsteps were approaching again and although Stella was running with al her might, using every last muscle to move she could feel her body protesting as drops of blood and sweat ran down her forehead._

"_No you don't!"_

_He lunged for her but she dodged out of the way._

_Her bag was just a feet away, she reached out her arm outstretched..._

_Blackness._

_He seized her and threw her down on the floor and Stella felt something pierce her torso as her vision went hazy. He leapt on her, straddling her. Desperately struggling under his weight Stella felt her last ounce of strength leave her as the ground started to disappear. She felt something trickle down her side as the world drifted away from her and as he went for the zip of her trousers all she could do was let out a sob. The blackness started to consume her again as pain rushed through her body. Her head was pounding, her face was stinging and she could feel blood tricking down her body. She couldn't stay awake, but the sound of an undoing zipper caused her to open her eyes with a start._

"_I'm going to enjoy this." He whispered evilly as he started to undo his trousers._

"_No," Stella whispered desperately trying to comprehend a way of getting out of it, fighting against the shadows that were lulling her in, "please no."_

_She wasn't strong enough to fight, she wasn't strong enough to survive, even if she did live on after this attack. Her eyes flickered, no, she must fight, must fight, must...._

"_Miss, Miss can you hear me?" Stella was aware that a person was standing over her. An unknown voice was talking to her it was a high pitched calming voice that Stella recognised to be female._

"_The paramedics are coming. Can you hear me Miss?"_

"_Where is he, did he?" She couldn't finish the sentence but the woman seemed to understand and squeezed her hand gently._

"_No, my friends and I heard you scream and when we ran down here he got scared and jumped the fence."_

"_Are you sure?"_

_When the girl nodded relief filled through her. He hadn't raped her. A little bit of reassurance flooded her, she knew she wouldn't have let him without putting up some sort of fight. Although as her vision became blurry she was left with the thought that at least she hoped she would have fought back if had tried to violate her._

"_The paramedics are nearly here, try and stay awake for me. What's your name?"Stella felt her eyes wanting to close, she was in so much pain._

"_Stella."_

"_Stella, I'm Mickie."_

"_Mac," Stella said quickly, her mind racing, fighting agitate her body to stay awake, "please, get Mac."_

"_Stella I need you to tell me who Mac is."_

"_Mac," She whispered once more and the darkness consumed her, her body finally giving up on her._

Stella finished her explanation, tears running down her face, her body shaking almost uncontrollably.

"I shouldn't have gone in." She whispered, "I should have just gone home."

Mac reached out to her and let her fall into her arms, the tears dripping down her face as she continued to blame herself for the attack.

"You weren't to know Stel." Mac said gently, still holding her tightly.

"I'm a cop Mac, I can't even defend myself. If it wasn't for those girls who saw him he would have raped me, maybe even killed me."

"But he didn't. You're alive, you're safe and that's more important than anything else. No matter what happened you are still a damm good cop. If we lived our lives looking over our shoulder, wondering if the people we spoke to were going to hurt us there wouldn't be much to get up for in the morning, cop or no cop."

"Maybe." Stella whispered and she rested her head on Mac's shoulder.

"Stel, all that matters is that you are ok." Mac closed his eyes and hugged her close to him. The thought of losing Stella was too much to bear. Seeing her like this, so fragile and scared, shattered a piece of his heart. He desperately wanted to be there for her, protect her and it pained him that he was not there to help her when she was attacked.

"Will you stay with me tonight?" Stella said, her eyes pleading.

"Of course, I'm not going to leave you Stel," he kissed her on the forehead, "I promise." He gently set her down and said, "I'm going to check with Nurse Kelly that it's ok for me to stay the night."

He left the room returning a few minutes later.

"It's fine, but if you start to feel bad you have to say ok, you don't need me to tell you about the seriousness of concussion."

"Ok." Stella pulled the cover up over her body and Mac sat on the chair next to her bed. Stella gazed at him and Mac's heart leapt in panic as she gave him a look that usually meant he had done something dreadfully wrong. Stella glanced at Mac, then the space next to her on the bed, after Stella repeated this action Mac clicked what she meant and hastily sat on the side of the bed.

"Are you sure Stel, I don't want you to fell uneasy if I'm next to you, after what you've just been through." He said quietly

Stella smiled, typical Mac, never one to mince his words but putting her feelings above his own. "Would you be uncomfortable?" Stella questioned, a small smile playing on her face.

"Of course not." Mac replied.

"Good." Stella uttered the single word and waited for Mac to react. After a moment he got back up took off his shoes, took his watch off and turned out the lights. He walked back over to Stella and lay down next to her on the bed.

"Thank you Mac." She whispered and nestled close to him as he wrapped his arms around her protectively.

"I'm so sorry this happened Stel," Mac whispered gently rubbing her shoulder, "I'm here for you, whatever you need."

"You're what I need." She replied softly

"I'm not going anywhere."

"Good because I know as long as you're here holding me I'll be ok"

"Forever Stel, forever."

He gently brushed a stray curl from her face and Stella entwined her hand in his before closing her eyes and drifting off to sleep. Feeling safe and protected knowing Mac was lying next to her, holding her until the morning came.

**Hold me til' morning,**

_**Love me til' day,**_

_**Sleep next to me baby,**_

_**Don't go away.**_

**The End**

_A/N- Thanks for reading- Hope you enjoyed it_

_Peace out_


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